UNTITLED!

I don't know why, but I've been feeling dull lately. It's like my world became black and white and the environment has gone silent. Quiet... You know that feeling walking in your neighbourhood at 3am in the morning? Bad example maybe!

I've been getting that empty feeling. I don't recall shutting the world and it's people out of my life. Nope, I don't remember making that call. Yeah, sometimes I like being by myself and other times I'm a social butterfly or even a cameleon, I blend into any kind of environment and miraculously make myself comfortable wherever it may be.

My kinda job surrounds me with people. I mean literally bunch of people but why do I get that feeling that I am the only one in this planet? I know, Will Smith in I Am Legend but if you think about it, it's not a funny feeling.

Hmmm...I'm sure I'm not making sense at this moment. Let me gather my thoughts.

Ok, it's like this. I feel like an empty shell. Something is missing and I don't know what it is and how it got lost/stolen for that matter. I mean, it is extremely alien and weird to me that this is even happening.

I've got a job. I keep the company running by day and in certain nites, I'm assistant stage managing a musical production. I love what I do and I intend to do this for a long time. I've just finish writing a musical for EASTER and I'm directing it as well during the weekend in church. I feel so blessed to be able to have such a creative outlet. The joy of watching a production grow from time to time brings fulfillment to me.

So with my hands full, why do I still feel empty. Have I been distant from God? Or is it because I've just recovered from cough and flu? Medicine effect? The gloomy weather? Hormonal changes??? (dang)

This evening, I went to visit Grandpa in Gleneagles with my parents. He'll be going for surgery tomorrow to remove his other leg. It was heartbreaking to see him have to suffer like this at this very old age but doctor says despite all the failures in his body, his heart is beating healthily and strong.

He was sleeping when we arrived but he looked like he had a busy or disturbing dream. I could see his eyes shifting underneath like he was busy searching for something and he was mumbling at the same time. I had that strong urge to say a prayer for him and I did. I said a few lines and before I know it, he woke up abruptly, saw my face and instantly smiled from cheek to cheek. That very moment, colours came back to my world and I could hear sounds again. It took my very sick grandpa to bring life back into me. But that lasted only for a few minutes. After kissing him goodbye on his bald head and exiting room 662, that empty feeling came back.

I need to do some soul-searching and have a good 1-1 with God. ADRIAN! WHERE ARE YOU?