I choose not to be synical this time around and sincerely wish Malaysia a Happy Merdeka! I find it unhealthy for my wellbeing, focusing and hating her flaws only because... I guess I do love her dearly. After all, the absence of love is not hate, is indifference and no, I wouldn't be typing this entry if I was indifferent about Malaysia.We know how hard and harsh we can be ESPECIALLY towards our loved ones. We accept people for who they are; the good, the bad and the ugly! Is not like I myself totally embrace people trying to change me with open arms. No, changing her would be evil and unnatural because thats not how we really function out there rite?
I can continue bitching about her or leave her for another country for that matter but that would not change anything except hurting her even more. That in return makes me look like a monster in her wet eyes.
I realize, although this ain't a new lesson, that I need to change myself if I truly love her. And that begins from here, I'm sorry...for talking behind your back. I'm sorry...for my absence. I'm sorry for thinking only bout me.... I wanna set myself free from all the hurts and discouragements and ask if you would forgive me in return? Are you willing to let go and forgive me?
You don't have to answer me now. Take your time, no rush...we all need our space and time to think. But, before I go, please at least let me wish you a Happy Merdeka, Malaysia... I'll leave you alone now. Goodbye...
I kind of feel the same way about Msia, Adrian. Before I came back to live there for 2 years, I romanticised her and made her into what she was not. Then I spent 2 years there and saw all her flaws! But that didn't bother me all that much. I actually don't give a damn about the Malaysian government and its policies. What matters to me is most Malaysians are decent people and they're easy to be friends with!
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